Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
