Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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