Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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