So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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