upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I love having hate sex.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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