Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
