wakey wakey hands off snakey
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
