My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I intend to get homeless drunk
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Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
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He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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