i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
