His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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