I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
