The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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