You can't special order awesome
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm too high and old for this...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize