i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
