oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
