You smell like stripper and shame
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Pants are for mortals
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
