I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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