after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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