Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
