how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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