and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
