If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
