My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
