his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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