it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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