The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
im holly from the hills drunk
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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