Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
