Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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