Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize