If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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