Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
