She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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