At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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