I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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