I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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