paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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