Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
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I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
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I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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