A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
