its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Those nachos came to me in a dream
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
