I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize