i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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