wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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