We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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