That's when you crack a 10am beer
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
