In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
