8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
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She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
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The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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