it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
