my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize