guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
