shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
