what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
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Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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