My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
