the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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