Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
