i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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