So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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