If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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