Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
