Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
