I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
