I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked