I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
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I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
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My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?