She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
tell me about the eggs
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