The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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