the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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