Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
