you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
